The PeaceMaker

 It’s a question often asked, but rarely answered in a satisfying way...........How can I find peace of mind?

Some say peace of mind lies in security. Some say it’s about decluttering meaning removing unnecessary emotions.... people, and finding stillness and calm in life. Some say it’s about acceptance and letting go. 

I say it’s all about "what you do".

You create your state of mind by the things you do, and you cement that by the things you tell yourself.

As long as I act with integrity every day, I can feel at peace with myself. Let me give you a example for it, there can be two ways for you to go ahead, one is do it the way others want you to lead your life as and try to except it with out feeling much about it internally, the second is do things your way, your responsibility and feelgood and connected with it. 

Things will always change. Life will sometimes be tough. People will say and do things that upset us. That’s just the nature of life and things.

As long as we hang onto our integrity, no matter what is happening in our world, we can go to bed with a clear conscience. And no matter how tough things get, we can still have that wonderful sense of peace within us.

But it takes some practice to really start to feel it, and to live with integrity at all times. Here are some tips to cultivate a sense of peacefulness:

 Know your Inner Self 

Make a list of all the good qualities you intend to cultivate, example such as  Are you going to be kinder, fairer, more tolerant, more anger free, more patient, more dignified. What are your responses to difficulties going to be? What principles do you wish to uphold?

 Keep moving to next right thing.

If you’ve been struggling with your emotional or mental state, it may be difficult, at first, to act with integrity all the time. You may find yourself making mistakes and sometimes behaving in a less than ideal way. In order to build up a habit of sticking to your principles, just practice to move to the “next right thing” all the time.

Allow your self to be Imperfect 
Validate the attempts of making to do the right thing if happens in  an imperfect way, when things are happening in a struggle way. The idea is to still make progress even if the attempts terns in a imperfect way.

 Repair immediately
If for some reason you end up treating someone unfairly or unkindly, or doing something dishonest or mean, make amends for it as soon as you can. Don’t wait. Correct your mistakes as soon as possible, and you can find peace of mind in the fact that you have improved upon your actions and done your part to relieve any ill feeling or guilt.

Respond in way that brings peace to you  

Other people around you may not be living in the same way that you have chosen to. It doesn’t matter; they will have their conscience to live with at the end of the day, and you will have yours. Choose to respond in a way that will give you peace of mind. Take a deep breath before reacting to people who push you hard or to corner.

 Remember the 3 'F'-Forgive, Feel and Free

Try to understand others rather than judging them. Forgive others for whatever they do things that makes you feel wrong, at the same time feel the emotions that you are going through. It's OK to acknowledge your feelings of that phase and free yourself from further getting into a viscous cycle of negative emotions which puts you down. Radiate compassion. Not only will others benefit, you’ll also add to your own sense of self-esteem.

 Fully Acknowledge sense of peace

You will not get to feel that lovely sense of peace if you don’t take the time to fully acknowledge it. In difficult situations, look at what you did well. If you’ve been struggling, notice when make your progress. 

 At the end, I would like to tag one of the quote which is close to my heart, “He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the world.” 

Hope the horizon of peacefulness integrates with each of ourselves.  

Embrace and Nurture Emotional Self

When we face uncertain, painful, or tragic circumstances in life, it can bring along with it sorrow, confusion, anger, pain, addictions, regret, greed, immaturity, fear, blame, shame, resentments, and suffering which are all signs of arrested emotional development. When we get ‘stuck’ in our emotional development, we cease to learn how to take responsibility for our actions and our lives. We get stuck at the point of some trauma that happens in our life that we don’t know how to let go of or to process. Out of these can rise....‘negative’ beliefs of underlying & unconscious commitment such as...... I’m not good enough, I was a mistake, I’m dumb, What a fool I am.....etc. This can make us feel miserable, ruin our relationships with others, and stunt our spiritual growth too. This can build a solid wall between us and the outer world we see, we stop working with adopting and coping techniques towards the environment we are in.

Just as physical pain tells us something is wrong with our bodies, so does emotional pain is a way of telling us all is not well with our emotional being. If we are healthy the emotional development matches physical development. I believe that we go through the emotional stages of responsibility, acceptance.... finally peace and contend. Again, although we all start at the state of helplessness and need which is when we are toddlers, these stages are not age specific. But many a times we all have come across persons who are stuck in one of this stages or so....
When we emotionally get anchored or arrested into any such feelings....we loose out the ability to see the bigger picture of the situation and have a tunnel view....making it difficult to find a solution or improvement...instead getting into repeating the same mistakes or into controlled behavior patterns.

We can over come arrested emotional, froze or fixation through restarting by learning how today's behaviors are sourced in a wound or wounds of childhood. This allows the body to back off of the adrenaline...meaning stops getting into a fight mode and the mind begins to understand "why I do the things I do" and "What I understand, I can resolve". As understanding and knowledge increases, our emotional side develops and we are able to stabilize the vulnerability of getting emotionally effecting. When we also understand what is that I can change and what we can't change it is easier to work accordingly, for example, if you see your face in the mirror and see a spot on it....but instead of cleaning the face to remove the spot..... we repeated just keep cleaning the surface of the mirror and feel that nothing is helping, how hard I try.....it is still going to be the same no matter what....in the same manner instead of understanding that it is not the people that we can change but it is ourselves that we can always work with..by stopping the blaming and regretting on what has happened...instead make the bridge between our outer self (image presentable to others) and our inner true self ( the inner child) by embracing and loving oneself. It can seem impossible but to start with the best way and a small step within is by writing messages to self and later converting it to writing a self maintained diary. It helps us to unlock our emotional fixation about past experiences, daily life situations and get into expressing emotions that we hesitate to open up with others. We can further keep adding techniques to integrate our inner child and free self from getting emotionally arrested. 
This festive season give yourself the biggest gift of Freedom, Embrace and Nurture.